Alien Times January 2002

Evening Forum: Colored Diamonds

Ninomiya House Evening Forum on Jan. 18

Tsukuba Mothers Network: Paper Puppets

Hash House Harriers: New Year's Hash

2002 is the year of the horse, and so we wish you a powerful new year - 2002 horsepower worth! To celebrate the new year, the Hash Horse Harriers (I mean Hash House Harriers), the "drinking club with a running problem") will have a New Year's bash on Sunday, Jan.27 beginning at 1 pm. We run (and walk) along a course and celebrate with various drinks. It's a good way to work off some of those extra pounds added on during the holidays. First timers (called "virgins") get their choice of beverage free. We meet at the Frontier Bar at 1 pm and start from there. Since it is New Years, bring something (anything) that is new. For more info, call "Toe Jam" at 0298-21-9372 or email: smooth@cool.email.ne.jp

Coffee Hour: Indian Education System and IT

Indians are known for being good at mathematics. One reason for this may be the prevalence of memory exercises given to Indian children from the time they are three or four. When students prepare to enter school in India, they face a great deal of competition even to enter the first grade. The Indian educational system is very competitive and ranks students assiduously. Those who successfully compete with an eye to attend a university in India face very grueling national selection exams in order to gain admission to an engineering school. There are seven IIT (Indian Institute of Technology); wherein these top students endure rigorous training in high-level mathematics, the natural sciences, and computer technology. As a result of this training, analytical and computer-related research is a natural choice for many. Most of the top grade Indian students choose American Universities for their graduate studies. Creating employment opportunities for these young graduates in their chosen fields often poses challenges to the valued entrepreneurs. Whether they live within or outside of India, Indian IT professionals are global leaders in their field. The Indian government has been eager to tap the economic and human-resource potential of these IT professionals both domestically and abroad to advance the economic goals of the Indian government.

This month's guest is Dr. Chandan Ghosh. Dr. Ghosh taught Civil Engineering for 10 years at the well-respected Banaras Hindu University, Varanasi, and is now engaged in advanced research in earthquake geotechnology at Ibaraki University. In the coffee hour of this month, he will discuss the educational culture in India vis-a-vis the Japanese system and issues related to India's supremacy in information technology.

January Festivals

While windy March is considered the prime time for kite flying in many Western countries, January is the traditional season in Japan. Two kite flying events are scheduled in January within reasonable driving distance from Tsukuba. These include very large kites taking many people to control, and if the weather is good, they are quite a sight to see.

Toride Tone River Kite Festival
Saturday, January 12th at the Toride Ryokuchi Undo Koen, located along the banks of the Tone River. If traveling by car, you will need to approach the park by crossing over the Joban tracks from Highway 6. By train, it's a 5 min. walk from the East Gate of Toride Station. Contact number: 0297-74-2141.

Another festival worth seeing that is also in Toride is the Tonegawa Dondo Matsuri, which centers around the burning in a giant bonfire the various New Year's decorations (such as "kadomatstu", the bamboo and pine branch decorations used to welcome the New Year) on Jan. 15 at 5 pm. In the coals of the bonfire, people roast senbei (and perhaps even marshmallows these days) on long sticks. For further info, call 0297-74-2141.

Shinshun Kokai River Kite Festival
Sunday, January 27th at the Fuminari Bashi Grounds. From the Yatabe Interchange on the Joban expressway, continue on to the center of Ina Machi. Turn right at the T-intersection and follow that road (route 19) on towards Toride. The grounds are located where that road crosses the Kokai River. Contact number 0297-58-2111.

Ice Festival at Fukuroda Falls

One of Japan's premier waterfalls, "Fukuroda no Taki" is located almost 2 hours north of Tsukuba. During the winter, this waterfall freezes up into a giant icicle 120 meters high. The falls consist of 4 sections that spread out the modest flow of water into a shallow sheet some 20 to 30 meters wide, making for a beautiful scene any time of the year. As the falls face more or less to the north, the winter sun can't reach them at all, and so the temperatures don't have to be all that cold to get the falls to freeze up. Typically, every year in late January and early February, the falls are so solid that ice climbers scale them for sport.

This year, from Sat. Jan. 26 to Sunday Feb. 3, the Fukuroda no Taki Ice Festival will be held. Entrance is \300 for adults and \200 for middle school children and under. It is free after 5 pm, when the falls are lighted up in various colors until 8 pm. There is no guarantee, of course, that we won't have a warm spell during that time that melts much of the ice. But the weather so far this winter has certainly be favorable for ice formation, and even into late February, when there is a significant cold spell, you can see the ice.

To get there by car, go up the Joban Expressway to the Naka Interchange and exit back towards Tsukuba. Turn right at the first main road and then again right on Route 118 a couple of km up from there. Continue up 118 through Omiya for about 35 km. The falls are to the right just shortly before you get to Daigo Machi.

You can also get there fairly easily by train. You simply take the Joban line to Mito and then change over to the line connecting Mito and Koriyama (Fukushima). You then get off at the Fukuroda Station. It's about 2 km up to the falls, and you can either take a bus, a taxi or a nice hike.

Setsubun Festival

Feb. 3rd is the traditional "beginning of Spring" festival (seems a little early, doesn't it?) when a kind of "Jack-and-the-beanstalk" ceremony is performed, with beans being thrown out the door. No mythological giants in the sky await a magical beanstalk to reach them, however, as this tradition is meant to keep the "giants" (that is, demons) from entering into one's home and bringing bad luck. "Oni wa soto, fuku wa uchi" ("Demons (stay) outside; happiness (come) inside") is the phrase chanted as the "setsubun" (literally "dividing of the seasons") beans are tossed out the door. Much pomp and ceremony surround this festival, and various shrines and temples compete with each other to come up with their own innovations. Tsukuba's own Mt. Tsukuba Shrine is a picturesque place to take in this bit of Japanese culture, and you can include a cable car ride to the top for a great view if the weather is good. Not being an official holiday, when Feb. 3 falls during the week, it's not so crowded, but this year, it falls on a Sunday. Thus, you can expect it to be fairly crowded. So plan to go early if you are driving as parking places may be hard to find.

Winter Peony Flower Festival

The "Botan" (Peony Flower) Garden in Kukizaki is normally not a place you would think of going to in January. It's big even is early May, when the "botan" (peony) flowers it specializes in are in glorious bloom. It's 430 varieties on 50,000 m2 is the largest in Japan.

While the winter flowers aren't nearly as numerous as their spring cousins, they have about 30 varieties on display during the festival time from Jan. 12 to Feb. 11. The entrance fee is a bit steep at \500 (\200 for grade school kids and under), but it does include some hot sake to warm you up on a cold winter day.

To get there, proceed down Science Odori towards the Yatabe Interchange, and turn left at the light just before Science Odori crosses over the expressway. There is a gas station on the left-hand corner. Proceed down this road over the expressway and straight on for about 2.2 km. (If you come to a fork in the road, you have gone a little too far). Turn right (signs on both sides of the road). The peony gardens are located a couple hundred meters ahead next to a cemetery.

Religious Activities in English

An English language interdenominational worship service is held once a month normally on the fourth Sunday of every month at 2 pm. at the Tsukuba Gakuen Church near Daiei. The Jjanuary service in on the 27th. It is followed by an informal fellowship time at the Tsukuba Christian Center next door. The Japanese language congregation meets every Sunday morning at 10:30, and the service is translated into English over earphones. There is also a Bible Study in English every Wednesday evening at 8:30 in the Christian Center. For more information or help with transportation, call Tim Boyle at 55-1907.

The Tsukuba Catholic Church has an English mass at 8:00 am every Sunday and the Japanese masses on Saturday night (6 pm) and Sunday morning (10 am) are accompanied by an summary of the message in English. There is even a Spanish mass on the 3rd Sundays at 3 pm. On the last Sunday of the month, there is a coffee social after the English mass. For information, call the church at 36-1723. The Tsuchiura Catholic Church offers an English mass on the last Sunday of each month at 3 pm (tel. 21-1501). There is also a Portuguese mass on the 3rd Saturday at 7 pm.

The Tsukuba Baptist Church offers an English language Bible study before the Japanese service every Sunday from 10 to 11 am. It is located in Inarimae just east of Nishi Odori on the street closest to the meteorological observation tower. Tel. 58-0655.

The Megumi Church in Tsuchiura (489-1 Kami Takatsu) also offers English translation of their 10:30 Japanese service over earphones. An English Bible class is held every Sunday morning at 9:00. There is also an International Fellowship group that holds a monthly pot luck dinner usually on the third Saturday. For information on that, call Melissa Ishio at 38-1374. For more information, call the church at 22-2244 or e-mail LDN03144@niftyserve.or.jp (Also see their Tsuchiura Megumi Church Web Page at http://www.bekkoame.ne.jp/ro/tmc/index.html).

The Tokyo International Church, Tsukuba Branch in Amakubo 3-3-5 (across from Tsukuba Univ.) offers a 10:30-noon Chinese (Mandarin) service interpreted into both English and Japanese. There is also an English language Bible study every Sunday evening at 7 pm. For information, call Rev. Huang at 52-6820.

The International Christian Assembly meets every Sunday at their new building just off of Tsuchiura-Gakuen Sen east of Tsukuba (just behind the restaraut with the dragon on the roof) from 10 am for Bible Study and 10:30 for worship. For more information, call Tony Shreffler at 57-9006.

The Nozomi Evangelical Lutheran Church in Tsuchiura (23-27 Komatsu 3-chome) also offers programs in English, including a worship service Saturday evenings at 7:30 pm and a Bible class on Sunday mornings at 9:30. English Bible information courses are available any time. For more information, call Glen Hieb at 0298-21-3578. The Tsuchiura Christian Church offers an English message translated into Japanese every Sunday morning at 10:30 am. For information, contact Paul Axton at 56-2167.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Tsukuba ward is located at Sakura 2 chome 35-2. Services are translated into English over headphones. The Sacrament Meeting begins at 10 am followed by Sunday School at 11:10 and Priesthood and Relief Society at 12:00. A Gospel Doctrine class in English is also offered. For more information, contact 57-9795. The Jewish Community of Japan, invites anyone of the Jewish faith in the Tsukuba area to feel welcome at any of their programs in Tokyo. Sabbath services each Friday at 6:30 pm followed by Sabbath dinner; Kosher Kitchen, Saturday morning, 9:30 am. Contact 3-8-8 Hiroo, Shibuya-Ku, Tokyo 150; tel. 03-3400-2559, fax. 03-3400-1827.

One Liner Philosophy

• Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
• Always borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect to be paid back.
• Fishing is the sport of drowning worms.
• For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
• No matter where you go, there you are.
• Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense and the past perfect.
• Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
• The definition of an upgrade: take old bugs out, but new ones in.
• The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
• The four stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he doesn't believe in Santa Claus; he plays Santa Claus; he looks like Santa Claus.

Tsukuba You World: Great Entertainment Value

If you are looking for an interesting place for some entertainment, "Tsukuba You World" is well worth a visit. This huge complex contains 8 movie theaters, a bowling alley, a batting range, a climbing wall, numerous electronic games and a large "onsen" style bath with massage and other frills available. There is plenty of parking, and so you don't have to worry about having trouble finding a place.

The theaters have comfortable seats and lots of legroom. Theater sizes vary from 118 seats to 367 seats, and so the more popular movies, such as "Harry Potter" are put in the big theaters. The seating is on tiers that make viewing easy, so that you don't have to worry about someone's head being in the way. While the normal admission price is a bit high at \1800 (pretty "normal" for Japan, however), there are frequent discounts available, including all seats on the first day of the month being \1000. Seniors (60 and over) also get in for \1000 any time, and they have a "ladies day" every Wednesday for the same price. The late shows are also cheaper, at \1200. They likewise pass out \200 discount coupons for you to use during your next visit, and thus if you like to go see the latest movies, you can save quite a bit if you plan ahead. If you can understand Japanese, a call to 39-5700 will give you the times of the shows.

There are lots of interesting things to explore, and so even going to watch people literally "climb the walls" is worth a few minutes of your time. An artificial, indoor cliff, complete with various things to grab hold of, greets you at the main entrance. A safety rope, of course, prevents someone from falling, and if you are adventurous, it looks quite a thrill.

The "Spole Bowl" has 24 lanes and the full range of rental equipment necessary for bowling. There is also a "Spole Dome", which is a baseball batting range where a video screen shows some of pro baseball's Tokyo Giants' pitchers throwing a ball, and coordinated with that, a real ball come flying out of a hole across the plate for you to swing at. It is located outside, and thus is unheated. So, it can be a bit cold for that this time of year.

Speaking of cold, you can warm yourself up in the various spas that are available on the second floor. These include the typical Japanese style "onsen" baths where you are in the "buff" (separated between men and women, of course), and also a separate zone for mixed bathing in bathing suites. This section even includes a pool designed to imitate the "Dead Sea", so that you can float high up in the water.

The "regular" baths are divided into two theme sections. One takes you through Japanese history, and the other simulates ancient Rome. On the first and 16th of each month, the men's and women's sections are reversed so that you can experience both of them (thought not on the same day). The regular admission is (thought not on the same day). The regular admission is \1800 (\900 for children 4 years old to grade 6), and booklets discount tickets are also available if you go frequently. As it is open 24 hours a day, if you are a night owl, you can get in for \1000 between 1 and 5 am. There is also a weekly "ladies day" on Wednesdays for \1000, and to be fair, they also have a "men's day" on Thursdays for the same \1000 (but they don't do that for the movies!).

Tsukuba You World is located on route 354 (Tsuchiura-Noda Sen) on the south side between Higashi and Nishi Odori. Tsuchiura-Noda Sen is the road that the Tokyo Express Bus turns onto after going down Higashi Odori (just before getting onto the expressway. It's the opposite direction, however, on that road on the left. The general information number is 39-5000 and the web page is: http://www.tyw.co.jp

Alien Scientist: The Ultimate Dictionary

What a frustratingly self-referential thing is a dictionary. It tells the meaning of so many words. But it uses words to do so. You have to already understand words to get any meaning out of it. Think of a dictionary entirely in another language - especially one written entirely in an alien script - or one converting from one alien script into another. You would not even recognise it was a dictionary in the first place. You would know not that you knew not what you knew not. Now imagine, far away in a distant galaxy, an intelligent alien creature from a society so advanced in its faculties that words have been extinct for eons. This creature, in some antique intergalactic bargain basement, is intrigued to discover this magical thing, a book full of words, but an especially bamboozling concentrate of words to boot - a dictionary. The sales pitch, with a nod towards Earth, is that this is a special invention, the key to unlock a billion books. This alien might not know much about words, but it can do a trillion-a-second symbol-matching algorithm in its head, and store the result in a single pictograph in its left appendix. So after not very long, this alien has digested and cross-referenced the entire Earthling literature. It knows what the words all mean - at least, relative to each other. It knows the meaning of 'signifier' relative to 'signified'. But it is a little hazy on the signified side of things. For example, it has never seen a tree.

The dictionary definition of a tree is something with a trunk and branches. But the meaning of 'trunk' and 'branch' are entirely bound up with the structure of the tree. If the alien hasn't a clue what a branch or a trunk is, it is no nearer to knowing what a tree is. In a sense, all the signified objects themselves really have to be considered a kind of extended contribution to the dictionary. You really need the tree, its trunk and branches, its structure and context, to be somehow 'inside' the dictionary too, for the whole thing to work.

So imagine then, our resourceful alien rolls up its tentacle sleeves, and goes about concocting an amazingly advanced, massively multimedia dictionary, with a miracle of dimensions all bound into it. It really has everything: as many signifieds as you can shake a stick at, from trees and branches to every last iota, inkling and dint. It has point-and-click figures of speech, a pop-up onomatopoeia player, and instant wormhole-cam views of Earth on location. To ensure universal applicability, the dictionary comes available in telepathic and anti-matter versions. And to be sure that everyone gets it, it has an immersive teach-yourself language laboratory built into it, and a free downloadable plug-in mind for those who have not yet evolved one of their own.

"Our crafty alien has surely created the ultimate dictionary: everything a dictionary could possibly be. But, since the ultimate dictionary has absolutely everything inside it, it is now more ultimately and absolutely self-referential than ever."

English Help and Information Lines

Tourists and foreign residents in Japan have access to valuable information, including professional counseling, via help and information telephone hotlines. The Tokyo English Lifeline provides English-speaking counseling and referrals at 03-5774-0992. The Japan Help Line provides similar assistance nationwide at 0120-461-997.

Updated August 31, 2002
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