Volume 14, Number 8 |
Let's try Tsukimi Dango
The moon is most beautiful in September. Why don't you join us and have tsukimi dango (dumplings offered to the moon) together. The moon is missing, but you can dream of a romantic full moon night.
Date: Monday, September 11
Time: 10:30 to 12:00
Place: Matsunoki Park (in front of Ninomiya Jidokan)
What to Bring: Beverages
Member's Fee: \100 / 6months (April - September)
In case of rain, the activity will be postponed until September 18.
Let's Play Together
Date: Monday, September 25
Time: 10:30 to 12:00
Place: Takezono-Nishi Jidokan (2-19-2 Takezono)
For further information and inquiry, please contact Ms. Ishihara at 51-0284.
As part of our activities, the Tsukuba Information Center sponsors a bilingual discussion group the fourth Wednesday of every month from 2 to 4 pm, with invited guests giving a presentation from their area of expertise or experience. This month, we are pleased to have Dr. Rajni Satpathy, from India, who will be speaking on the subject of "Homoeopathy: Safe and Effective Healing" on September 27.
Homoeopathy is an alternative method of treatment based on nature's law of healing, "Likes Cure Likes." A German scientist, Dr. Samuel Hahnemann discovered the truth of this medical science in 1796, and it has been verified experimentally and clinically for two centuries. It is a gentle, effective, and natural medical science which powerfully stimulates the body's own healing mechanism to reinstate health and well-being. The remedies are prepared from plants, minerals and other natural substances.
Dr. Satpathy, who graduated from the medical school of Delhi University, says about Homoeopathy, "It treats the patient as a whole, not just the disease. Thus, it doesn't treat the patient superficially, just by driving away the symptoms, but it treats the disease from its roots and heals the patient within."
The Coffee Hour is meant to be an informal exchange of information and opinions. English and Japanese are both used with efforts made to make sure those who can't understand one or the other are able to at least get the gist of the conversation. Likewise, you don't need to commit yourself to the entire two hours and can come and go freely. So drop by, whether for a short time or for the entire two hours, and enjoy some free refreshments along with a stimulating discussion. Please let us here your opinions as well.
Since its inception in 1992, Tsukuba International School has had to operate on a very limited budget that has prevented it from reaching its full potential in serving the English-language educational needs of the international community. In what is hoped to be the first of an annual fund-raising event, TIS is sponsoring a charity concert featuring "Los Tres Amigos", a well-known South American trio who give regular concerts around the country. Argentinean Luis Sartor (whose daughter attends TIS) will be joining together with Luis Carlos (Bolivia) and Ricky Rodriguez (Peru) to perform rousing renditions of popular South American songs, including several that will be "sing-a-long" style. They do some truly amazing things on a variety of South American instruments, blending together beautifully.
Local violinist Craig Coleman will also add his considerable talents to an evening of international music that will also likely include other musicians as well.
All participants will be donating their time so that the proceeds can go entirely into a fund to benefit the school and provide some seed money towards establishing permanent facilities and adding a kindergarten level in the near future and junior and senior high facilities in the future. Tickets are being sold for a \3000 donation for adults and \1500 for high school and under. If you or your organization would like to help in selling tickets, please call Tim Boyle at 55-1907.
As Nova Hall hold approximately 1000 people, our goal of filling it up would result in a considerable boost to TIS finances, and so TIS urges all in the international community to get behind this project. Doors will open at 6:30 PM, Friday, October 6, with the concert beginning at 7 PM.
The Tsukuba Information Center is offering free language classes on Tuesday mornings beginning Oct. 17 and running through March 6. The 2-hour classes begin at 9:30 a.m. and finish at 11:30 and will be held at the Tsukuba Information Center (3F) located next to Nova Hall. The classes will be divided into 3 levels: Introductory (for those with no previous study), Beginner 1 (for those who have studied Japanese using Hiragana for 30 hours), and Beginner 2 (for those who have studied Japanese for 60 hours or 6 months and can read Hiragana).
Registration is on Tuesday, Sept 19 between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. and is limited to 25 applicants for each class. Applicants must be foreign residents who live in or near Tsukuba and can attend all classes for 6 months. To register, come to the Information Center on the 19th for a short interview with the instructors to determine which class is most appropriate. As it is first come, first served, earlier in the day is better. For more information, please contact Ayako or Yoshiko at 52-6789.
The Tsukuba Information Center offers a "Conversation Across Cultures" discussion time every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. The purpose of this weekly event is to share ideas, perceptions and experiences of one's own culture with others. Since the discussion is in English, those who have just come to Japan won't need to worry about their lack of Japanese-speaking skills. This is a great opportunity for people who'd like to meet new people from other cultures. So come on out and join in interesting conversations around a cup of coffee or tea. For further information, please contact Mx. Taniguchi or Mr. Miyanuma at 52-6789.
Every year, the Foreign Buyer's Club designates two times when Tsukuba International School (or any other international school) can receive a 5% rebate of the order as a donation from FBC. Any order coming in during the last week of September that designates TIS as the beneficiary will be applied to FBC's donation. In the past, we have had group orders, where cases were shared, but as that takes quite a bit of effort, we now order only as individuals or small groups that get together on their own. If you need a catalog, however, those are available from TIS or from the Tsukuba Christian Center.
In order for TIS to benefit from your order, simply order during that week and designate TIS as the beneficiary. (As there is also Tohoku International School, you need to spell it all out.)
At the beginning of 1996, a group of gaijin including myself started the RVC football club. RVC stands for "Russian Vodka Ceremony," the Russian counterpart of the Japanese Tea Ceremony that some of the co-founders, the two Russian friends Oleg and Oleg, used to practice and teach us. In all of these years, we have been enjoying playing soccer almost every Sunday afternoon (at the NIRE pitch, on Nishi Odori). Sometimes we play among ourselves, and when we have time we organize games with other teams, in this case followed by barbecues and the RVC.
The team, however does not belong to any league, although many of us play separately in the Tsukuba league on various teams on Saturdays. So, since people in Tsukuba have changed, perhaps most people do not know about this, I wanted to invite everyone who wants to play soccer and have fun. Recently we are not so many, but I hope that some of you can join so we can play again on the full-pitch. There is, of course, no discrimination: Japanese/gaijin, woman/man, skilled/unskilled. The only thing that is important is good sense of humor and willingness to enjoy soccer.
So, send me an E-mail and I can send you the information where to play (even starting from next Sunday). I do not think that I should send a weekly message to the TAIRA list about our soccer activity to avoid sending unnecessary messages to people that do not have interest in soccer. Instead, for those who are interested, I'll send a weekly message to inform about our weekly activity (schedule, place, etc).
Piero Carninci,
RIKEN, Genome Science Laboratory
3-1-1 Koyadai, Tsukuba, Ibaraki 305, Japan
genome.rtc.riken.go.jp
Tel 0298 36 9145
Fax 0298 36 9098
cellular phone 0901 709 2277
The new movie theater located on Route 354 (Noda sen) between Higashi Odori and Nishi Odori across from Akatsuka park is Cineplex 8 Tsukuba and is part of Tsukuba You World. There are eight theaters, seating between 118 and 367 people. I've been there many times and the theater is very nice. You can find their movie schedule at www.cineplex.co.jp/tsukuba/tsukuba.html, as well as information about discount tickets. Also in Tsukuba You World is a batting dome, bowling alley, spa, climbing gym, and small game center. Plenty of free parking, mostly in the rear.
An English language interdenominational worship service is held once a month normally on the fourth Sunday of every month at 2 pm. at the Tsukuba Gakuen Church near Daiei. The September service will be held on the 24th. It is followed by an informal fellowship time at the Tsukuba Christian Center next door. The Japanese language congregation meets every Sunday morning at 10:30, and the service is translated into English over headphones. There is also a Bible Study in English every Tuesday evening at 8:00 in the Christian Center. For more information or help with transportation, call Tim Boyle at 55-1907.
The Tsukuba Catholic Church has an English mass at 8:00 am every Sunday and the Japanese masses on Saturday night (6 pm) and Sunday morning (10 am) are accompanied by an summary of the message in English. There is even a Spanish mass on the 3rd Sundays at 3 pm. On the last Sunday of the month, there is a coffee social after the English mass. The Easter masses are at the regular times. For information, call the church at 36-1723. The Tsuchiura Catholic Church offers an English mass on the last Sunday of each month at 3 pm (tel. 21-1501). There is also a Portuguese mass on the 3rd Saturday at 7 pm.
The Tsukuba Baptist Church offers an English language Bible study before the Japanese service every Sunday from 10 to 11 am. It is located in Inarimae just east of Nishi Odori on the street closest to the meteorological observation tower. Tel. 58-0655.
The Megumi Church in Tsuchiura (489-1 Kami Takatsu) also offers English translation of their 10:30 Japanese service over ear phones. An English Bible class is held every Sunday morning at 9:00. There is also an International Fellowship group that holds a monthly pot luck dinner usually on the third Saturday. For information on that, call Melissa Ishio at 38-1374. For more information, call the church at 22-2244 or e-mail LDN03144@niftyserve.or.jp (Also see their Tsuchiura Megumi Church Web Page at http://www.bekkoame.ne.jp/ro/tmc/index.html).
The Tokyo International Church, Tsukuba Branch in Amakubo 3-3-5 (across from Tsukuba Univ.) offers a 10:30-noon Chinese (Mandarin) service interpreted into both English and Japanese. There is also an English language Bible study every Sunday evening at 7 pm. For information, call Rev. Huang at 52-6820.
The International Christian Assembly meets every Sunday at their new building just off of Tsuchiura-Gakuen Sen east of Tsukuba (just behind the restaraut with the dragon on the roof) from 10 am for Bible Study and 10:30 for worship. For more information, call Richard Swan at 36-0993.
The Nozomi Evangelical Lutheran Church in Tsuchiura (23-27 Komatsu 3-chome) also offers programs in English, including a worship service Saturday evenings at 7:30 pm and a Bible class on Sunday mornings at 9:30. English Bible information courses are available any time. For more information, call Glen Hieb at 0298-21-3578.
The Tsuchiura Christian Church offers an English message translated into Japanese every Sunday morning at 10:30 am. For information, contact Paul Axton at 56-2167.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Tsukuba ward is located at Higashi 2-21-22 by Higashi Middle School between Doho Park and Tsuchiura Noda Sen. Services are translated into English over headphones. The Sacrament Meeting begins at 10 am followed by Sunday School at 11:10 and Priesthood and Relief Society at 12:00. A Gospel Doctrine class in English is also offered. For more information, contact 52-6548.
The Jewish Community of Japan, invites anyone of the Jewish faith in the Tsukuba area to feel welcome at any of their programs in Tokyo. Sabbath services each Friday at 6:30 pm followed by Sabbath dinner; Kosher Kitchen, Saturday morning, 9:30 am. Contact 3-8-8 Hiroo, Shibuya-Ku, Tokyo 150; tel. 03-3400-2559, fax. 03-3400-1827.
By Neil Marston
If you look through your window, you will probably mostly see concrete, perhaps the ugliest and most soulless building material, yet somehow loved by the Japanese construction industry. Sometimes the concrete may be broken up by paddy fields or obscured by cars going nowhere slowly and occasionally even a few square metres of park. Probably there seems little incentive to leave the building, especially if you happen to be in a bar or restaurant. However, on a clear day, from a good vantage point, it is possible to see something else: tree-covered mountains. A majority of Japan is not urban sprawl, but almost unspoilt countryside, which can offer a much-needed break from the stresses of grant proposals, Taira and Japanese administrators. There are many ways of enjoying the countryside, but for me hiking is one of the better ones.
But isn't that hard work? Well, it can be, but like any other form of exercise there are levels to suite everybody. Having said that, even on the more challenging trails it is not unusual to see hikers well into their middle-age. If you go to Oze in June, it is almost impossible not to conclude that hiking is suitable for everybody. At that time of year, the skunk cabbage is in full bloom and coach loads of hikers/tourists are bused to within a few km of the marsh and led around by flag-bearing guides. In this case, your car does most of the hard work as the carpark is at the same elevation as the upland marsh leaving a relatively flat walk.
Don't worry if you can't read a map, once you have found the start of your walk, your destination will be well sign-posted. Unlike in the UK, where you can wander freely over mountains, the nature of Japanese terrain restricts your walk to paths, which are clearly shown on hiking maps so navigation should not be a problem, provided that you can match the kanji on the maps to the signposts. Another advantage of the Japanese system of hiking is that the maps give estimated times for each section of the trail so you can plan your walk accordingly. On most trails there are plenty of huts that sell beer, omiyage and even food. Yes, beer and cigarette breaks are an integral part of hiking in Japan. This along with the de rigor greeting of hikers with ohayo gozaimasu, konnichi wa and sumimasen tends to create a friendly atmosphere on the hills. It is not unusual to be offered some kind of snack by a walker who is keen to make your stay in Japan more pleasurable.
One of the best ways of meeting fellow hikers is to stay in a mountain hut, which can be anything from an unmanned hut to a 1000-bed hotel. The full-board cost of staying in a hut varies between about 5,000 and 9,000 Yen depending mostly on the hut accessibility. Be warned: what can be much more variable is the standard of the food - from the most basic curry sauce and rice up to nutritionally balanced meals including salads, meat and, of course, rice and tea. The sleeping arrangements can be quite cozy; a 6-tatami room seems like a small bedroom in Tsukuba but it is not unusual to share it with another 5 walkers in the mountains. There are rumours that sometimes you only get allocated half a futon, so if you pick a popular hut on a bank holiday weekend, you have been warned.
If you ask for the weather forecast in the mountains, invariably tomorrow will be sunny in the morning turning to rain or a thunderstorm in the afternoon. Often this is right so it is wise to make an early start when walking in Japan. Another advantage enjoyed by the early birds is that the visibility is much better for the first few hours after sunrise. An exception to this rule of thumb is made when climbing Japan's most famous mountain, Mount Fuji, which is a must for many people during their stay in Japan. Here tradition dictates that Fuji should be climbed at night to watch the sunrise from the summit. A fine plan with one major drawback - Fuji is something of a cloud magnet so even if the weather forecast and conditions when you set off look favourable, you could just be looking at the inside of cloud from the summit. That being said, when I climbed Fuji, the night time views over Gotemba and Odawara made up for disappointment waiting on top - after all it was an unusual experience to enjoy a panoramic view over urban Japan.
There are far too many hiking areas in Japan to describe in this article and the choice of walk will depend on the time of year and your level of fitness. Some of the walks that I have enjoyed most are: the Tanzawa Mountains in January, with about 6 inches of fresh snow on the ground, clear blue skies and stunning views of Fuji; the autumnal colours at Tanigawa-dake and, during the summer, it is hard to beat the views from the Minami and Kita Alps. If this article has whetted your appetite there are plenty of suggestions for 3-4 hour walks in "Day Walks near Tokyo" or for the more adventurous Paul Hunt's "Hiking in Japan", both of which can be borrowed from the AIST library. If you want somebody else to do the organisation for you, the Tsukuba Walking and Mountaineering Club (www.geocities.com/yosemite/gorge/6108) offer a program of walks throughout the year.
By Paul Sadler
My first inclinations of taking a trip to Japan started nearly ten years ago. I had just returned from a work exchange for engineering students in Finland in the summer of 1990 and came back with a desire to do the same thing - this time in Japan. Even then, the drive and success of post-World War II Japan attracted me. I had a conviction that life was good to achievers and so was pouring all my energy into my academic access, extracurricular involvement, and career-related work experience. I also felt that Japan was a society of achievers - people like me. I thought I could learn a lot there about life and success. And the Japanese were also at the forefront of all the things I was interested in professionally: automation, quality engineering, etc. I began to make plans to head to Japan after graduation and found that there were two training programs in Japan with Toshiba and Nortel being offered to Canadian engineers. The early association of Japan and success in my mind was important for what would follow.
I had another two years before graduation and along the way, I became more and more unsettled in my thinking - not about my trip to Japan but about my convictions regarding success. I had believed that with success would come fulfillment, but the closer I got to what I called success, the more empty that hope seemed. Rather than pursuing success, I felt that my drive to succeed was changing me in a way I didn't like. I had been looking forward to a dream of achievement and yet my future scared me. I wondered about the kind of husband and father I'd become some day, and didn't like what I saw.
In the spring of 1992, as I was intending to leave for Japan, the effects of global recession were being felt. The two training programs with Toshiba and Nortel were cancelled, and I was sent back to the drawing board by this first set-back. I decided to head over anyway and see if I could find work teaching English in a Japanese company as a way into an Engineering position. After all was said and done, I ended up in Toyama, teaching English conversation privately for ten months.
I found Japan fascinating. The beautiful mountains, the cultural differences, and the rich history all intrigued me. I never really hit culture shock in the classic sense, as I loved my experience in Toyama.
Japan is truly an amazing country. But something disturbed me. I had had a growing concern that life oriented solely around professional success would self-destruct. As I looked around I became more convinced that this was the case. Many I met in Japan seemed to suffer from the same symptoms I had been experiencing. Hard work had brought prosperity but the inner emptiness seemed to remain. I met many who were powerful in their careers but lacked any power to bring change in their personal lives. I became more convinced that life focused around professional success robbed marriages of their love, families of their joy, friendships of their depth, and people of their soul.
About a year before I left for Japan, I begin to find help in my struggle with balance through a spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ. I found strength and freedom to begin to deal with the selfish tendencies that I feared would make a mess of my future. And I found practical direction through the Bible to deal with decisions, fears, conflicts, and various heart issues that I had never been able to change on my own.
Wherever I went in Japan I saw signs of religion - particularly in traditional Toyama. The festivals, temples, shrines, and ceremonies inspired awe. But when I looked at people's lives I didn't see evidence of freedom in their daily lives. It was as if there was something missing on the inside.
Things began to come together one night when I went to visit a former Sumo wrestler and he said to me, "We have a saying in Japan, 'Kao de waratte, kokoro de naite,' which means, 'The face is smiling, but the heart is crying.'" He said, "If I were to describe the Japanese people that's the phrase I would use. We have this distinction between form (tatemae) and reality (kokoro). We do a very good job of form for the most part, but the heart is another story." Those words stuck in my mind as I reflected on the path that I had been on myself and the people that I met in Japan.
As my stay in Toyama continued, my love for the people of Japan grew. I had an eagerness to return to Canada and start my career as an engineer, as I had been working towards this for many years. The pull to get back to a profession that I loved was great. But as the time went on I had an even greater desire to return and share with the Japanese the same hope and freedom that I had begun to find in Christ. And it was finally this desire that won out as I felt something calling me back to the land that had forever become in my mind the land of the smiling face and the crying heart.
by Butch N. Talorete
The difference between "inside" and "outside" in Japan is so distinct that it manifests itself in the ubiquity of slippers in Japanese homes, labs and offices. For indeed, who would want their homes soiled by dirt from somebody's filthy shoes? Undoubtedly, this trait has earned the Japanese the reputation for cleanliness and hygiene - until you take a second look.
Bringing shoes in translates to more effort in keeping floors and tatami mats clean for okasan, who is probably also too busy herself at the neighborhood pachinko shop. Slippers are her floor's panacea. But for the typical gaijin, these are a source of both amusement and sometimes inconvenience. Let me illustrate.
My work involves microbiology and animal cell culture, hence, our lab is what you would call a "clean room." That means all our shoes should be left outside in lieu of slippers that are stacked at the door. And guess what? I'm the only person, a gaijin, of course, who's still wearing laced-up shoes. All the others are wearing moccasins or step-ins. This is probably the reason why bargain counters are always brimming with laced-up shoes. And that's why gaijins like me keep buying them.
Ambulance workers are sure as hell not allowed to wear laced-up shoes. And there's probably one way that you could help them help you if you're gasping through a heart attack. The paramedics, being Japanese, would have to (1) take off their shoes, (2) wear those dainty slippers, (3) remove you from the bedroom, and then (4) fumble again with their shoes under your stretcher. (Boy, what if they're laced-up? Whew!) So after calling the hospital, maneuver towards the door, even if it almost kills you.
Most slippers are made of cloth, and if left moist and unwashed, become perfect niches for fungi, some even causing skin problems. I heard that these types of slippers are usually found in doctors' offices, where you can quickly download the latest version of Athlete's Foot 2000. So while the doctor removes your viruses, he also leaves you with the "I Love You" worm. This type of collusion between doctors and fungal drug companies probably only happens in Japan. No wonder the biggest posters at drugstores are those of athlete's foot medicines.
And then there are those slippers at the toilet with the letters "W.C." nicely written on them. What their use and what those letters mean is anybody's guess. They couldn't be for hygiene since what's so hygienic about wearing the same slippers that a hundred others have used while doing their most unhygienic business. I doubt that they're for warmth since the Japanese-style toilet isn't really a cozy place to take a good book. Ah, but if those slippers are the wooden-type geta clogs, then it would surely be awesome to hear yourself clacking around in stereophonic sound in a tiny, tiled room - perfect when you're inebriated. After all, "W.C." may actually mean "wooden clank." (Editor's note: "W.C." actually stands for "Water Closet", a British term.)
Gaijins usually face the problem of forgetting to take off the toilet slippers and then bringing them back to the tatami room. Then not only do they commit one social blunder, but two. One, that toilet slippers should always stay in the toilet, and two, that they shouldn't be so stupid.
I wonder who benefits the most from this "slippery business." Top guess would be the slipper industry with their variety of products - from the plastic ones to cloth to leather to wood or any combination in between. What I like best are those Dr. Scholl types that promise health with their acupressure soles. Some even guarantee an increase in height if you keep on wearing them. They're about an inch thick, anyway.
And of course, there's the socks industry. Surely, socks wear out faster if people take off their shoes as often as possible. And no holes please, ladies and gents. In civilized Japanese society, wiggling a toe through your socks is the ultimate faux pas. Until I came here, never have I bought so many socks of so many colors.
But I guess it's really the Japanese who benefits from all these. Not only do they spend less time with the vacuum cleaner, some also surreptitiously let you pitch in on the cleaning. Some homes don't offer house slippers, and if they do, they're often so small that your foot overlaps the sole. So if you heavily drag your bright clean socks on their floor, don't be surprised if your hosts flash you a sinister, toothy grin.
Blending in the group-oriented Japanese society means understanding what "inside" and "outside" mean. To the gaijin, it is one key to becoming part of the so-called "in-group" and to avoid remaining in the "out-group." So next time you have to wear those stupendous slippers, smile. You're going in, not going out.
A Bit Of Humor For The September Doldrums
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:
By ToeJam
Once upon a time, 1938 to be exact, British soldiers stationed in Malaysia founded a crazy running/drinking club. They had to keep fit and they like to drink beer, so it only made sense. They decided to name their little club after the local restaurant where they all met and ate - The Hash House Harriers were born. After WWII, the club spread rapidly throughout the world.
Our hero, ToeJam, discovered it for the first time while working in Saudi Arabia, not an easy place to have a drinking club. After participating in only two Hash runs there, it was time for him to leave the country.
ToeJam's life continued on through many journeys, loves and jobs. He soon forgot about the Hash. Then, one day, while living in Hawaii, he heard that the Aloha Hash House Harriers club would be meeting that evening at a local bar. Faded memories of his brief encounter with this wild group came rushing back. He decided to check out the bar that night. This was a decision that was to change his life forever.
There they were - hard to miss. A table of about twenty animated, beer-consuming Hashers stood out clearly in the otherwise sedate pub. He was immediately welcomed and made to feel at ease. With each ensuing beer, he felt ever more at ease until he reached the point where the strangers at the table took on the role of the family he'd never had. Then he puked. The following day was the weekly Hash run. Calling the telephone hot line, he secured directions for the location of the start. Upon arriving there, he saw a large and extremely varied group milling about. Most looked somewhat sporty, at least in their attire. Some wore strange headgear or other bizarre accessories, and a few were milling while drinking from beer cans.
Somehow, none of his newfound family seemed to remember him from the previous night. Orphaned again, he approached a blonde amazon and meekly inquired, "Excuse me, this is my first run and I'm not sure exactly how it works. Can you help me, please?"
She slowly turned to sneer at the newcomer and by way of answer to his plea, exclaimed, "Pay up and shut up! Can't you see I'm trying to do something here, jerk? Did you bring a dish for the potluck, as announced on the Hash Hot-line?" More than somewhat taken aback at this unprovoked rudeness, ToeJam stammered, "Uh, no. I wasn't sure if I could find the place and was running late and was hungover from last night. Sorry."
"Sorry don't cut it. You might as well just go home right after the run", she informed him.
So, he shut up and paid his $5. Feeling extremely out of place and contemplating the wisdom of his decision to come, ToeJam looked around for a friendly face, or even just a good-looking one, to talk to. Everyone seemed to know each other and ignored him. He was later to learn that one characteristic associated with Hashers is a pronounced lack of social graces.
As it happened, the occasion of his first Aloha Hash fell on Saint Patrick's Day. The majority of the 50 runners present wore green clothes well accessorized with green nick-knacks. The prize for best accessory went without question to the Hasher who had dyed her white pit bull terrier green with food coloring. Yes, a green dog!
One of the leaders then asked if there were any virgins or visitors present. Someone pushed ToeJam forward, announcing, "Here's a virgin!" It seems that "virgin" is Hash jargon for a first-time participant. Along with a couple of other confused souls, ToeJam listened carefully as the Grand Master explained about the flour and chalk markings to be searched for and followed to get from the start, Point "A", to the end, Point "B". Suddenly, with the deafening din of fifty blaring whistles, two members, the designated "hares", sprinted away.
Twelve minutes later, with the deafening din of fifty blaring whistles, again, the pack took off in pursuit. The course began in an average section of town and soon entered a very disreputable section of town. Although it was a serious struggle due to his poor conditioning, ToeJam kept up with some members of the Hash. His main motivation was terror at possibly being lost and abandoned in that dubious neighborhood - every other house had an extremely vicious dog, for protection no doubt, and he'd already seen two guns.
Then came the wall. The trail undeniably appeared to involve climbing over a jagged six-foot high wall that wasn't built to be scaled. Yet, one after another of those loonies managed to get over it. After several members of the female persuasion had succeeded, ToeJam gave up his attempts at circumnavigation in embarrassment and somehow landed on the other side. Cut and bleeding, he staggered on, rueing the impulse that had urged him to join these psychos. Suddenly, like a mirage in the Saudi desert, there appeared before him two visions of loveliness and lust. In the middle of nowhere, a table had been set up staffed by a couple of knockout beauties serving Irish whiskey in disposable shot glasses. He was invited to rest and drink.
"Well, you don't have to twist my balls for that", he reasoned. One shot was followed by the offer of another, and then a third. The girls were delightful. He didn't want to leave. However, other Hashers took their shots and were on their way again. ToeJam realized that this was just the halfway point. Ugh!
With deep regret and a spinning head, he plodded on for another 30 minutes until, near death, he saw written on the pavement in chalk the words "Beer Near", Hashese for: "The trail is almost finished." And, indeed, a half-mile further on, he came to a funky beachside residence where the beer was flowing and the burgers were smoking.
Slaps on the back; congrats all around; beer forced down his throat; it was great!!! He belonged. He had survived the initial initiation. - Then, just as he took a large, juicy bite out of the homemade bacon cheeseburger in his hand, he observed the evil eye of the blonde Amazon boring into his inner soul through the conduit of his pupils. Suddenly, he didn't belong. He hadn't brought "something to share." He went home in a still sober kind of haze.
Why do we do the things we do? Isn't it just insane sometimes? He went back the next week. Sure, the second run is free, but what's $5? Right off, the Grand Master approached ToeJam, apologized for the blonde's behavior the previous week, and handed him back $10, double his previous beer fee.
"She's weird like that. Forget it", he said.
After the second run, ToeJam was hooked. With his sixth run, he received an Aloha HHH headband and his hash name was confirmed. Other members of the group were named Teeny Weenie, Bimbo, Cums in a Minute, Head First, Famous Anus, Insatiable, Knocked Up, and many more not printable here. Being awarded such a distasteful hash name means one is a real member of the worldwide club and will be accepted with a certain degree of hash respect when visiting any other club on the globe.
Like most such clubs, the Aloha HHH hosted runs weekly, and ToeJam rarely missed one. Soon, he had fifty runs under his belt and had become close friends with many of the wankers. He learned that hashers generally look out for one another and are always ready to lend a hand when needed. The shared experiences of navigating the, often difficult, mystery trails, and then consuming large quantities of beer together, allowed for few pretensions to prevail. ToeJam discovered that there was nothing else that he would rather do with his Saturday afternoons and evenings. Hashing is essentially healthy exercise followed by fun and fellowship.
Soon after becoming a Centurion (100 runs), ToeJam married and moved from Hawaii to Ibaraki Prefecture in Japan, about an hour NE of Tokyo. While settling in, he surfed the net in search of nearby hash clubs. There were none in Ibaraki, however, there were four such clubs in Tokyo, and 19 clubs in the country overall. Despite his aversion to long train rides, ToeJam journeyed into the city several times to join those clubs.
It was great! It was so great, in fact, that he was reluctant to leave the post-run parties and go home. Twice he missed the last train and was put up for the night by sympathetic local hashers. This couldn't go on. Only one solution: ToeJam decided to found a new hash in his own stomping grounds.
Pressuring his English students, recruiting members from bars, urging his wife to invite her friends and using various other means to publicize the venture, Ibaraki's first Hash House Harriers event took place on the Forth of July, 1999. About 35 people showed up for that first run, including several supportive members of other Japanese HHH clubs. With a short ceremony, their own local group was declared established.
On a perfect, sunny day, that first course started at the train station in Tsuchiura, wound its way through "soapland", the right-light district, then along the scenic, though polluted Sakura River, to the shore of Japan's second largest lake. There the drinking and singing ceremony known as "religion" was held. This was followed by the "on afters", for which they retired to a friend's restaurant for dinner, more beer, and the debut of the Ibaraki Hash Band on stage. By then the group had swelled to over fifty. It was all over by 10pm, and had been an overwhelming success. The Hash was there to stay.
The End
PS - Since then, the IHHH has held monthly events around the area, including in Tsukuba, Ami Town, Ushiku, Kashima, Mt.Tsukuba, and many countryside locations. Although total international membership is over 100, a core group of about 25 keeps things going.
PSS - This unique "organization", and I use the term loosely, is for young/old, fit/flabby, male/female, Japanese/foreigners - basically, anyone who likes fun, fitness, fellowship -and beer. Join them for their belated anniversary celebration on Sept. 17, 1:30, meet at Frontier Bar. The event will take place in the country outside Tsukuba and conclude at a farmhouse with bar-be-cue party, live bands, prizes, surprises, talent contest, overnight pyjama party, and hearty breakfast. Also cumming up on Oct. 29th - the infamous Halloween Hash - jog the course in costume!!! Meet at Frontier, 1:30