Rooms For Rent

Japanese woman (fluent in English) seeking two female boarders (either long term or short term) to share a furnished house near Tsukuba University. The house is located in a quiet neighborhood west of the University less than a 10 minute drive from downtown Tsukuba, and has a large yard and garage for parking. Rent is Y35,000 per month with Y10,000 for utilities and other expenses. One month bond and the last month's rent are required in advance. For more information call Michiko at 56-8178.

Hash House Harriers

By Joe 'Toe Jam' Robbie

The Hash House Harriers is an international running/drinking club first established in 1938 by British soldiers in Malaysia. They often met at a local restaurant called the Hash House and decided to combine two of their favorite pastimes+ staying in shape and drinking beer!

Since those early beginnings, the club has spread throughout the world bringing joy, sore muscles, new friendships and hangovers to many thousands. There are already 19 such clubs well-established in Japan, but none in Ibaraki until now.

Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Toe Jam. That's my Hash name from the Aloha Hash House Harriers in Hawaii. All members are given a Hash name following their 6th run. Names are decided on by the other members, with the one being named having no influence on the outcomel The personality, interests and past actions of the person being named are taken into account. Once you get a name, you're stuck with it, like it or not. This is not a club for whiners, wimps or sensitive egos. Examples of other Hash names from my Hawaii club are: Bimbo, Brain Fart, Hazukashii, Red Hot Twat, Famous Anus, Dr. Whoopee, Cums in a Minute, Teenie Weenie and Snot.

The runs are usually held on a weekly basis. Ours will be on Sundays. These are NOT races and competition is strictly discouraged. It's more like a game. Two "hares" (rabbits) scout a traili in advance. On the day of the run, all members gather at a selected starting point. At the signal, all Hashers blow their whistles and the hares take off, with chalk and flour to mark the trail. The tricky part is that in addition to the real trail, they’ll lead the fron runners astray by indicating some false trails as well.

Twelve minutes later, the rest of the pack (the hounds) takes off. The faster runners will usually take one of the false trails. By the time they figure out their mistake, the slower runners have caught up and avoid the wrong trail. Often, there is a beer stop (water too) in the middle of the run, giving all a chance to relax a little. At the end of the trail, usually 5 or 10 kilometers, Hashers will arrive at a pre-selected location where plentiful amounts of beer, soft drinks and snacks await.

When all runners, joggers and walkers have arrived, the traditional drinking and singing ceremony known as 'religion' begins. Here, Hash names are given, first-time runners, 'virgins' are sacrificed, and other unbelievable events occur. This is followed by the weekly partying and general socializing.

So, that's the scoop! You don't have to be a good runner or serious drinker. Some people only walk and drink cola. The main idea is to get some exercise and have fun. Now I am in the process of establishing Japan's newest hash - The Ibaraki Hash House Harriers!!! Won't you join us and become a member? Call 0298-21-9372 and leave a name and number or e-mail me at rika0520@aol.com.

The next run is scheduled for Sunday, September 26th at 2 pm.

Comic Relief

1. *On a Sears Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
2. *On a bag of Fritos chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
3. *On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
4. *On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But that is just a suggestion!)
5. *On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
6. *On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
7. *On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save time?)
8. *On Boot's children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
9. *On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
10. *On a Korean Kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?)
11. *On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space or underwater?)
12. *On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious)
13. On Sainsbury's peanuts: br/>
14. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet. Eats nuts. (I'm glad they cleared that up!)
15. On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
16. Some actual newspaper adds:
17. Amana Washer, $100, owned by bachelor who seldom washed.
18. Wire mesh butchering gloves, one 5-finger, one 3-finger. Pair, $15.
19. Free puppies: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbor dog.
20. Alzheimer's Center prepares for an affair to remember.
21. Nice parachute, used once, never opened.
22. Whirlpool built-in oven, frost free.
23. Joining nudist colony. Must sell washer & dryer.
24. Fully cooked boneless smoked man, $2.09 lb.
25. Hummels, largest selection ever. If it's in stock, we have it.

Bumper stickers

1. I love cats ... they taste just like chicken.
2. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
3. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other ties I let her sleep
4. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather �Enot screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
5. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
6. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
7. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
8. Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students!
9. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
10. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
11. He/she who laughs last thinks slowest.
12. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
13. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
14. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
15. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
16. i souport publik edekasion
17. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
18. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
19. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
20. 2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2
21. There are 3 kinds of people in the world: those who can count & those who can't.
22. If a man speaks in a forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Surviving Mount Fuji

By Applewhite Minyard

After four hours of sleep on the last day of July, nine graduate students, their professor, and two friends piled into three cars at six AM and headed for the shores of Lake Yamanaka and the thrills of Fuji-yama, including the world's largest and fastest roller coaster. This was our preparation for the challenge of Fuji-san - to churn our stomachs, have machines turn us upside down and make our hearts beat with insistent thumps.

We spent that night at a pleasant University of Tsukuba hostel-type inn with basketball courts and a beautiful lakeside view. Still, the dormitory-like setting didn't promote an easy night of sleep for many of us. We set off for the mountain and began our ascent on a hot, clear day, at two PM. We couldn't keep sight of each other and so split up into three informal groupings: the adventurous daredevils, the middle-of-the-roaders, and the rear guard, which included me and the professor, the two oldest of the group.

We were in various physical conditions, but no amount of exercise could really have prepared us for what we eventually faced. The slopes were jammed with people from ages seven to seventy, all trying to reach the summit by sunrise. This is considered de rigeur because it's the clearest time of the day, and a sign of increased dedication. Seeing the sun rising from the highest point in the Land of the Rising Sun. Should it be a haiku? Is it already?

By six-thirty, after frequent water and breathing stops, we'd reached the eighth station. The air was thinning and we were constantly pushing upwards. Our heads were beginning to hurt from the lack of oxygen and exertion. We had arranged to stay in of the "huts" along the way, where travelers get a hot meal and a rest space crammed in tight with hundreds of other weary climbers. It is so cramped that they jam you in head to shoulder for maximum space usage, so you sleep with someone's feet next to your face and your shoulders practically touching people on either side of you.

There's no room to move, just lie still and wait for the wake-up call. Ours came at eleven-thirty PM, less than four hours after we'd been squeezed into our cubbies. No one in our group had slept.

We peeled oranges and munched on bread or crackers and sipped cold tea, then set off for the top at midnight. In the last forty-eight hours we'd had four hours of sleep and the oxygen was thinning, the temperature falling, our hearts pounding with every step, and our breath coming in quick gasps. We even tried some of the bottled oxygen, which cost 1,500 yen and lasted about one minute. It offered little relief. Our temples throbbed insistently with every step, every step measured in pulse beats.

The night was dark and cold, the wind whipping madly, and the climbing turned rugged. We added layers of warmer clothes, but our stamina was rapidly falling, and the last leg to the top was a nightmare of trying to see where we were stepping, scrabbling for foot or handholds, and a nagging feeling that we were punishing ourselves in the name of "fun".But, there was no alternative, no turning back down the steep slopes with thousands of climbers all going in one direction - to the top at any cost.

Finally, we made it, just about four AM, in time for the very brief sunrise, but it was almost impossible to locate all our party in the immense pack of people, moving as a mass, with guides shouting directions and pushing at us like we were a single organism. We couldn't have gotten any closer together without taking our clothes off, and it was much too cold for that. There was no feeling of elation, no sense of accomplishment, just an aching weariness. We took a quick look at the crater, but opted not to spend another hour circling it. Like nearly everyone else, once we'd reached the top, all we could think about was going down.

Climbing up was tough, but going down reminded us of the roller coaster at Fuji-yama. It was kilometer after kilometer of zigging and zagging, stumbling down through the loose lava rock that lined the path. The monotony of the motion was hard on our knees and our senses were already dulled into near unconsciousness. As we trudged down, the temperature climbed up, and just as we'd added clothes on the ascent, we peeled them off on the descent. After eight hours of climbing and five hours of descending, we were becoming Fuji-zombies, mindless members of the pack searching for a stopping place. It was hot again, the sun beaming mercilessly on our tired bodies, sapping our spirits.

When the zigging stopped, we still had a long way to go and were extremely thankful for a station with cold drinks. As the oxygen level had increased, our headaches had subsided, but we were almost too tired to notice. I spied a cold beer and made the mistake of guzzling it. On a nearly empty stomach, practically no sleep in three days, and overwhelming exhaustion, it made my head spin. When I stood up to continue, I was woozy, but somehow managed to put one foot in front of another until we collapsed back at our starting point. We had made it. We had survived Fuji-san.

Though we eventually rendezvoused with our group, there was a sad postscript. The teacher, who was really in charge of the expedition, took a wrong turn in coming down and ended up on the opposite side of the mountain. As we compared notes, we found that somehow no one had met him at the top, and we spent several hours of uncertainty. It points out the importance of clear planning and making sure everyone is accounted for at regular intervals on group outings, particularly a potentially hazardous one.

Nearly everyone knows the French phrase, "c'est la vie." In Japan, it's said that a wise person climbs Mount Fuji once, but only a fool climbs it twice. "Fuji-san ni 1 do mo noboranai hito wa baka desu, soshite, Fuji-san ni 2 do noboru hito mo baka desu."

Tips for a Lifetime

1. Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
2. Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle - perfect shaped pancakes every time.
3. To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
4. To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.
5. Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan-the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.
6. To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.
7. To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top - skillet will be much easier to clean.
8. Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces - no more stains.
9. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead - no white mess on the outside of the cake.
10. If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato - it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix me up".
11. Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator - it will keep for weeks.
12. Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.
13. When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness.
14. To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh - if it rises to the surface, throw it away.
15. Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
16. Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
18. If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
19. Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.
20. To get rid of itch from mosquito bite: try applying soap on the area, instant relief.
21. Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march - see for yourself.
22. Use air-freshener to clean mirrors: It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
23. When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
24. NOW Look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer: Clean a toilet - drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush, and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china. Clean a vase - to remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. Polish jewelry- drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. Clean a thermos bottle - fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). Unclog a drain - clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.
25. If your VCR has a year setting on it, which most do, you will not be able to use the programmed recording feature after 12/31/99. Don't throw it away. Instead, set it for the year 1972 as the days are the same as the year 2000. The manufacturers won't tell you. They want you to buy a new Y2K VCR

More Humour

Bumper stickers:

• l love cats ... they taste just like chicken.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I Iet her sleep.
• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather - not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• l didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
• Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students!
• Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• He/she who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• i souport publik edekasion
• We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
• Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
• Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
• 2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2
• There are 3 kinds of people in the world: those who can count & those who can't.
• If a man speaks in a forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Extranationality as Sufficient Grounds for Criminal Suspicion: Instant Checkpoints in Japan, Part 3

In the final instalment of a three-part series David Aldwinckle examines how Japanese police are willfully targeting foreigners for spot identity checks.

Exercise Your Legal Rights

l am not advocating anarchy, and I am not saying that you should not cooperate in a police investigation of a specific crime. But the police have to know that they cannot see foreigners as suspect just because they are foreigners. It reduces our standard of living by making us publicly and legally vulnerable in a way that hardly any Japanese have to or will put up with.

For example, let's say you are on the street (or in Haneda Airport, for that matter, since as long as you are not in the office (jimusho) of the police, the law applies), and a policeman comes up to you and asks you for your Gaijin Card. If you do not wish to show it because the cop is being nasty or obstructionist, here's what you can do:

COP: Show me your Gaikokujin Touroku Shoumeisho.
YOU: Why? (naze desu ka) (Always ask for a reason, please. If he gives you a reason you are satisfied with, then fine. Show. But if they just say something like:)
COP: Because it's the law. (Nippon no houritsu da kara. Miseru gimu ga aru. Misete.) Now it's time to bring out the real law. The Police Execution of Duties Law (Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou), Section 2, says "A police officer is able to ask for a person's ID, but only if based on a reasonable (gouriteki) judgment of a situation where the policeman sees some strange conduct and some crime is being committed, or else he has enough reason to suspect that a person will commit or has committed a crime, or else it has been acknowledged that a particular person knows a crime will be committed. In these cases a police officer may stop a person for questioning." Meaning that there must be a *specific crime* or *suspicion of a crime* before questioning can occur. Just being a foreigner is not enough, and without a good reason (soutou na riyuu) a policeman's arbitrary questions to a stranger are against the law.

Of course, as journalist Peter Hadfield notes (who wrote an important article for the Daily Yomiuri on this: it got censored), technically speaking if you are riding a bicycle, a policeman can stop you on the suspicion that you may have stolen it. But any human rights lawyer (there are lots of them in Japan and they will work for next to nothing) would drool at the prospect of taking a case like that. So call their bluff.

What follows is the Japanese text for the above law, romanized from the Dai Roppou (the Bible of Japanese law). Print this up, put it in your wallet inside your Gaijin Card slipcover, and present it if questioned:

Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou. Dai Ni Jou
Keisatsukan wa, Ijou na kyodou sonota shuui no jljou kara gouriteki ni handan shite naniraka no hanzai o okashi, moshikuwa okasou to shiteiru to utagau ni tariru soutou na riyuu ga aru mono mata wa sudeni okonowareta hanzai ni tsuite, moshikuwa hanzai ga okonawareyou to shiteiru koto ni tsuite shitteiru to mitomerareru mono o teishi sasete shitumon suru koto ga dekiru.

That is indeed a mouthful, and mercy sakes, l don't expect anybody to memorize it. Just show it and let them read it. However, you ought to practice two important words until they roll off your tongue, just for deterrent's sake: the name of the law: "Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou," and a key concept: "Kyodou Fushin Sha" -"A person of suspicious conduct" Which means, after you present them with the law requiring specific suspicion, you can say:

YOU: According to the KSS Law, only suspicious characters can be questioned. Excuse me, but specifically what am I doing that is so suspicious? (Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou ni yorimasu to, kyodou fushinsha dake ni shokumu shitsumon suru koto ga dekimasu. Sumimasen ga, gutaiteki ni donna fushin na koui o shiteimasu ka.) This might stop the cop in his tracks. If the policeman comes back with:
COP: This law applies to Japanese only.
YOU: No. According to the Police Law Number 162, it applies to all individuals in Japan. (ie, chigaimasu. Keisatsu hou dai hyaku roku juu ni gou ni yorimasu to, wagakuni no kojin ni atehamarimasu. Kokuseki wa kankei arimasen.) Now, if the cop really knows his law (and chances are that he does), he will come back at you with another law, the Foreign Registry Law, which does explicitly state that people officially charged by the Ministry of Justice with immigration or law enforcement can ask for your ID, and if so you must present it. Hence it creates a loophole that needs to be plugged.

Here's what it says in Japanese:
Gaikokujin tourokuhou dai juusan jou dai ni kou gaikokujin wa, nyuukoku shinsakan, nyuukoku keibikan, (nyuukanhou ni sadamaru nyuukoku keibikan o iu), keisatsukan, kaljou hoankan, sonota houmushou rei de sadameru kuni mata wa chihou koukyou dantai no shokuin ga sono shokumu no shikkou ni atari touroku shoumeisho no kelji o motometa baai ni wa, kore o kelji shinakerebanaranai. This is very clear, and I don't recommend you print this up 'cause it won't help your case. In translation:

The Foreign Registry Law, Section 13, Clause 2.
Foreigners, when asked to show their Gaijin Cards by immigration investigation officials (as outlined in separate laws), police, coast guard, or any other national or local public official or group empowered by the Ministry of Justice as part of the execution of their duties, must show them."

This is bad news. However, there is a check and balance. If you read the next clause it says:

The Foreign Registry Law. Section 13, Clause 3.
Public officials governed by the previous clause, if asking for the Gaijin Card outside of their workplace, must carry a certificate of their identity and present it if asked.

Let that resonate for a minute. This means that unless a cop shows you his ID, you have no proof that this is an authorized official that you have to submit to.

He, according to the law, MUST submit if you ask him while you two are outside of his workplace. This is important because now you have a way to find out his name, his police number, and whatever other information you need to hold him accountable should some abuse of the law occur. Take the time to write this information down in your notebook.

It is a valuable check. So print this up too:

Gaikokujin tourokuhou dai juusan jou dai san kou zenkou ni kitei suru shokuin wa, sono jimusho igai no basho ni oite touroku shoumesho no kelji o motomeru baai ni wa, sono mibun o shimesu shouhyou o keitai shi, seikyuu ga aru toki wa, kore o keiji shinakerebanaranai.

It doesn't get much clearer than that. Now, say the cop remains obstinate. Does this mean that if he doesn't show you his first you don't have to show him yours? That is not, according to a Tokyo lawyer I talked to and the law prof in our university, specifically outlined in the Dai Roppou as a proper sanction. But remember you can still at least demand his identification if you are outside (meaning the street, or at Haneda Airport, outside the Kouban). Once he gets you on his turf, you lose your legal standing.

One fine but important point. Can't he just drag you to the Kouban and strip you of your ability to demand his ID? Actually, no. That's illegal too. According to that fat law up back up there called the Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou, Clause Two, I quote:

"It is possible to ask a particular person to accompany the [police] to a nearby police station, police branch [i.e. kouban], or any police administration area for questioning if it is determined that this place is unsuitable for questioning because it obstructs traffic or is disadvantageous to the questionee."

Which means that the police have the right to ASK you. However, the next clause, Clause Three, says you have the right to REFUSE and they have no right to restrict your movements without a formal charge or arrest. I quote:

"Unless there is a regulation relating to criminal action, officials may not confine, bring back to any police administration area, or else coerce a person to reply to questions against his will."

This is pretty straightforward and deserves to be known about. So if the policeman demands in public that you come with him to another area, like a separate room for questioning, refuse. Pull out this law:

Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou. Dai Ni Jou, Dai Ni Kou,
Sono ba de zenkou no shitsumon o suru koto ga honnin ni taishite furi de ari, mata wa koutsuu no bou ai ni naru to mitomerareru baai ni oite wa, shitsumon suru tame, sono mono ni fukin no keisatsusho, hashussho mata wa chuuzaisho ni doukou suru koto o motomeru koto ga d ekiru.

Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou, Dai Ni Jou, Dai San Kou,
Zennikou ni kitei suru mono wa, kelji soshou ni kansuru houritsu no kitei ni yoranai kagiri, migara o kousoku sare, mata wa sono i ni hansite keisatsusho, hashusso moshiku wa chuuzaisho ni renkou sare, moshikuwa touben o kyouyou sareru koto wa nai.

That should stop him. Now the policeman either has the choice of showing you his ID (which means you will have to show him yours, of course. Shikata ga nai.), or of refusing and thus not obeying the law.

Let's take the worst-case scenario. Say this cop gets really irritated, refuses to show you his ID and tries to either get physical or abusive. The best thing for you to do is not fight back. If you do anything that can be construed as physical violence (boukou) or threatening (kyouhaku) actions, under the "Obstruction of the Execution of Public Duties Crime" (koumu no shikkou o bougai suru zai) you can formally be charged with a crime and confined to a room. Then you are at the police's mercy and that is definitely dire straits. Since there is no law of Habeas Corpus in Japan, the Japanese Police can, and often do, keep people in rooms for weeks without charge, adequate food or even sleep until incriminating confessions are signed. You can ask for a lawyer by saying, "Sumimasen, bengoshi ni nandoki de mo renraku suru kenri ga arimasu." (NB, The "nandoki" is a word used in the legal document for "any time", and will alert them that you know the law). However, that is not an entirely reliable recourse, since there have been plenty of cases where lawyers are denied access. Be it known that cops in this country have a lot of arbitrary power; they make their moves and let the lawyers sort it out later. My point is that you should not do anything that would be construed as resisting arrest. If the policeman gets physical, sit down and don't move. No flailing, no sudden movements. I doubt he will drag you to the nearest cop shop. Then what? Dunno.

My legal adviser suggests: "Say to him that if you are not shown Police ID, you will personally begin a formal protest (kouben) and refuse to show him your Gaijin Card, If this winds up in stalemate, walk away and on to your airplane." He says that the police cannot construe calmly walking away as trying to escape, but that's awfully brave. I think being prepared with a long layover is your best course if you really want to take it this far. Be patient. Technically speaking, the safest course is waiting until the policeman gives up-anything else, and he probably can charge you for resisting him.

To Review:

Here's what I suggest you do if a surly policeman asks for your ID in a public place.
COP: Show me your Gaijin Card please.
YOU: Why?
COP: Because I said so
YOU: The Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou (bring out copy of the law from wallet) says that you cannot do that unless I am a Kyodou Fushinsha. What Fushin Koui am I doing?
COP: Shaddap. You are a foreigner and you are bound by the Gaikokujin Touroku Hou to show me your Gaijin Card.
YOU: And you are also bound by the Gaikokujin Touroku Hou to show me your Police ID if I ask you to. It says so on this piece of paper I just happen to have right here in my wallet. I hereby ask you to. Show me your ID first, please.
COP: Get lost. I don't have to show you anything.
YOU: If you do not, I will not show you mine. I will hereby protest until you show me yours. (Moshi misete itadakanakereba, watashi no mibun shoumeisho o misetaku nakunarimasu. Misete kureru made kouben shimasu.) [sounds hooky but the word "kouben" presses a lot of mental buttons with cops]
COP: All right you, come with me.
YOU: Going with you is optional, right? (Nin'i desu ka?)
COP: What is this? Do as I say or else.
YOU: According to the Keisatsukan Shokumu Shikkou Hou, going with you is my option, not something you can command me to do. See this piece of paper right here? That's the law. Are you arresting (taihou suru) me? I refuse to go.
COP: [about ready to have an aneurysm] Move or I will move you!
YOU: (sits down). You can't do this. It's against the law (houritsu no ihan desu). It's against human rights. Oinken no ihan desu) It is against the Japanese Constitution. (iken desu)

What's next? Depends how far you want to take this. If this happens to you in Haneda Airport, you should here make a couple of phone calls (Emergencies only, please. Let's not abuse the avenue we've been given.) to concerned parties:

Ryokyaku Sentaa Kachou, Koga-san: (03) 5757-8505 Haneda Kuukou Keibi Kachou Watanabe-san, or Jin-san: (03) 5757-011O

They have given me permission for me and my friends to contact them in times of trouble. I didn't tell them how many friends l've got.

If you are stopped outside of Haneda, I have less idea what will happen, and it is up to you to make the police accountable. Fortunately, l've only been carded one other time in my life, on the street in Otaru in 1987, so chances are that only places with tight security, like Haneda Airport, are going to instant checkpoint you.

In any case, although we cannot refuse to show our ID if the cops really know the law, there are checks-ways to make their job more difficult if they are treating us disrespectfully, and, more importantly, ways to hold them accountable if they are abusing their position. Even if you are not a Rosa-Parks type, please do consider, if suddenly carded, at least asking for a reason why. If they are inconsiderate, I would request you bring out the laws.

The Japanese Police would almost never treat a Japanese the way they often treat foreigners, and the main reason they do that in my view is that they believe they can. Nobody, as my Haneda cop said, up to now has complained. Up to now, that is.

Moreover, as the Haneda chiefs clearly stated, foreigners are suspects because they are foreigners. That is unacceptable. Police apparently assume that they can get away with this prejudicial treatment because foreigners either don't know their rights or won't push for them. That is unfortunate, because the law is in fact mostly on our side.

We can change this situation. For the good of Japan, we really must. Or else we, and our diaspora, will face more unnecessary and harassment that is unbefitting a modern, mature society.

Updated February 2, 2003
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